The Married Life

Okay. So I know it has been two days of being married. But here is what is on my mind. We have been married for two days, and it has not hit me yet that we are married. I mean nothing feels different. Except I sport around a new ring, wedding stress is gone, and Brant is not so sad about his family. But I feel no different.

In other news.

Brant and I have new jobs. At Siverado. We fill out paper wok on the 27th. Hopefully Brant will sart sooner than me, but I will have to wait until the Jan. 2nd. He might wait until the first of the year so he doesn't have to file taxes for 3 days of work.

I really love this facility. Since I started working at the Special Care Unit (SCU) at St. Joseph's, I have fallen in love with dementia patients. I love it. I love them. Sometimes Long Term Care (LTC) is frusterating, but I am rarely frusteredated in SCU. And when I am it is at staff or something in my personal life. I just have nothing but love for my resident's. Even the more aggitated ones. I know what they are going through, even if they do not realize it. And I cannot help but love them. Well Siverado is all Alztimer's/Dementia patients. And they are a really clean and nice facitity. The staff all seem nice. They try to keep the place home like and keep the medical more in the back ground. They have pet therapy. They have activites from 8 in the morning to 8 at night. Their philosophy is something like the more they engage resident's in activites the happier they are, the less aggressive they are, the less likely their condition will worsen, the less pyschotropic drugs (psychotropic drugs are drugs that an altering effect on perception, emotion, or behavior) will be needed. And you know what. It works. They have the lowest rate of any other facitlity in the state for the use of psychotropic drugs. They have had residents come in on hospice and in the later stages of dementia who have after a few months come off of hospice and a few more months actually end up showing less sign os dementia. You can tell they put thought into the residents' lives. They made the facility into a circle so that their residents would never run into a dead end. They encourage their resident's to go outside, instead of sitting and watching TV.

After getting to know my residents in SCU where I am now, after growing close to them and loving them, Silverado is what I would want for them. I know it is massively expensive, and not everyone can afford it. But I would prefer it. For the record, I think St. Joseph Villa is a wonderful facility, and a great place for anyone. But if it is my grandma or my parents that needed an assisted living community and suffered dementia, Silverado is where I would want to bing them.

Also since my love of SCU and dementia patients grew, I have been placed less in SCU and more in LTC. And it is really sad. So the entire Silverado facillity is a giant SCU. I like that no matter where the place me to work, I have a strong feeling I will love it.

Photo's Of Our Apartment.

I bought the sea foam green book case from Sherm.
This shot was taken from the front door.

This is our living room area.

This door leads to the balcony.

This is the new couch Brant and I bought from Habitat for Humanity.
It was $7.50
It is a pull out, so guest have a place to sleep!

This is the first half of our kitchen. Our oven is tiny.

This is the second half. Brant was making us sandwhiches.
Turns out we have just enough cabinet space.

This is our bathroom.

Across the hall is our vanity space.

This is the first shot of the bedroom.
I love the lamp, we bought a second and put it in the living room.

This is our bed. It is unmade. But huge and comfy.

The foot of the bed.

Standing in front of the window in the room looking to the front door.
You can see a shoe rack. We bought one.

Marriage, and all that fun stuff.

So, I am getting married. You may have guessed it. To Brant.

I've gotten a lot of feedback about this. The majority of people who matter to me a being really supportive. Though there are a few people think I am too young, too immature, too whatever.... And it is really getting to me. Yes, I am young, but I am far from immature. I am 20 and living on my own. I am taking care of myself. I have good credit. And while I am still trying to figure out things like medical bills, I am supporting not only myself, but Brant as well. I am not scared to work two jobs, or pick up shifts. I understand that you have to work hard. And I am fairly responsible. In the ten months I have been on my own I have learned that I cannot just drop cash. And I have learned how to only buy what I can afford and what I need.

I mean, yeah we have been together less than a year. We will be getting married on the seven month mark. But if a girl isn't sure about marrying a guy after the first six months, chances are she will never be sure. And we have been talking about marriage, kids, pets, education, and career plans since two to three months in. We have been preparing for it for months. It all just came faster than we planned. But at the end of the day, I am ready for this, and I know Brant is more ready for marriage than he was a mission. And everyone was so supportive of him going on the mission field.

While weddings can be stressful between the cost, invites, vows, and everything else, I am really excited. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with Brant. He is amazing, and honestly I do not see my future without him. I do not know how I am so sure. But I know. And I knew the minute I realized I do not want to spend another day without him. And isn't that what it is all about at the end of it all? I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want him there when I am laughing and crying.

I love coming home to him in out new apartment and telling him about my day. I love sharing the good and bad. I love that he tells me about his day. Even the small details I could live without.  He is what makes waking up in the morning wonderful. He hums me to sleep at night. We talk all the time about everything. I console him when he cries about the things in his life that make him sad. And I am more than happy he chose me to be the one who wipes away his tears. The woman he kisses every night before bed.

No matter what happens, I know Brant will be there for me, with me.  He was there for me when I was sick and had no idea why. He was at the hospital with me when I had to go in to emergency surgery. He has taken me to a psych unit when I needed the extra help. And thought I needed to be put back on medications (for the record, the doctor did not think I needed medication). I know he can handle what life will throw at us. And I know that I can go him for anything.

I guess what bothers me most is the fact that the people who support me are the people who know the most about Brant and me, our relationship. And the ones who are not so supportive are the ones who really do not know the half of it.

But this is the time to be joyous. I am in love. And I am getting married in 3 days. And at the end of it. I am so god damn happy.

Perhaps... just maybe I should...

I have been frequenting Google.com finding blogs written by missionary girlfriends. And I think I should start a blog seperate from this one when Brant leaves, or even from here on out. And post the link to it everytime I post a new one there, so you all can just check this blog, and if there is a new post on that one, then you can check it out.

My only concerns are (1) I have a hard enough time keeping up with one blog, two of them might be too hard, and complicating. (2) I do not know if the world will want to read about my experience waiting for Brant. (3) And anything I post on that blog, I will post on here, but not visa versa. This will be everything, where that will be just my experiences spiritually and waiting...

I'm not sure.



Update:

In general life is good. I moved to full time + benefits at work. Instead of working Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday 10pm to 6am, I will be working Tuesday-Friday 2pm to 10pm and Saturday 10pm to 6am.

I recently had my gallbladder removed in my very first surgery. I am now a little less human. Also I feel great since it has been out. I am not so sick anymore. Also I am now on a high fiber and low fat diet.

Brant is leaving Novemember 14th. Two weeks. And we had a really intense conversation the other night. The more time I spend with him, the more I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Also I am so excited to be going with him to the temple, even though I know I will have to wait in the waiting room for three hours. I really like being able to support him in any way that I can.

I have some photos.

I have the cutest and coolest little sister in the world. And this photo proves it.
I really miss her <3

Cuddling. I have no idea how he is smiling as a squish him. But man do I love him.

Mama B (Brant's mom), Bart (Brant's brother), Issac (Bart's son), Brant and I panted pumkins.
Mine is the black one, Mama B did the Superman one, Brant the tree, Bart the skull and Issac the multi colored.
We rock.

Lately...

Lately I have been away from my blog. Not for one reason alone, but a bunch of little ones. Actually, maybe it is one reason alone. I have been too busy spending all my time with Brant. I have no idea when he will be leaving on a mission, but I do know that I want to spend as much time with him as possible until he leaves. Because when he is gone, that is it for two years. Yeah I get to write anytime I want and he can write back weekly, but I will be spending no time with him. And so I am getting it all in now. And the funny part. I spend all my time with him, except when one of us is working for the most part... And I am so not tired of this kid. Usually I can't stand to be around just one person all the time, but with Brant, I can spend almost every waking moment with this kid, and I still want to be around him more.

I am not really sure what I can say to update anyone on anything. Because nothing in my life has changed all too much. I work a lot. I picked up another shift on Wednesday nights. So I work Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday 10pm to 6am. And Friday and Saturday mornings at the Art Gallery. Also I am still picking up shifts at the Marion Center if they need me... But I have not really picked up any shifts for Arlington.

I would be chilling out with Sam, but he is away for the month of August. And Jenn is working on her trailer. So really Brant is the extent of my social circle. I wonder what my life will be like when Brant is on his mission, Sam is in Chili, and Jenn in Ecuador. My social life will have come to a halt. Though once Brant leaves I plan on going full time. And that will take up a lot of time. And the spring and summer of 2013 I will take one or two classes at Salt Lake Community College. Then in the fall become a full time student as well.

That is all I can really write. I am so going to bed. It is almost 7am.... And after my shift last night, sleep is welcomed.

Photograph Update.

Looking Fly:

Brant and I all dolled up at his aunt's house for Sunday dinner.

I look really disinterested, but in reality I am exhausted.

Star Gazing:

Kisses!

Sneezes.

Me looking as wonderful as ever.

The smile the gets me every time.

The Promise Ring:

Opal. Really, need I say more?
(:

On my hand.
For the record, it has been moved to my right hand.

My Birthday Party:

Sam and Jenn on our way tubing!

Brant and I.

All four of us... For some reason holding the
camera the other way did not occur.

A trail we walked along on out way to "The Hut"

Same trail. Also, we never found said hut.

My red velvet cupcake.
No one else likes red velvet so we got a normal cake for sharing.
All my candles were yellow!

Me with a sugar flower in my mouth.

Sam's favorite photo. He likes that I look drunk.
It is milk in the cup. 

Everyone Singing Happy Birthday to Me:

Sam wins the loudest award!

Sam's Farewell Dinner:

We ate pasta, with chicken (except for Jenn), and bread and butter and Kool-Aid.
We ate like kings and queens.
Also. Yes, Sam is wearing spandex pants. 

Dinner with a view. 

Not a lot.

So, there is really not too much to update anyone on. I have been working and hanging out with people. And that is really all. Aside from being awkwardly hormonal pissy, I have been doing fine. Actually I am super happy. 

Random things:
I got a really nasty bruise from a seat belt on my knee.
I am blaming Brant.
I ate really good oriental food yesterday.
It was Sam's birthday.
I am excited for Park City on Friday.
I am the best girlfriend alive, because I am getting Brant the best birthday gifts ever.
The first thing is a solar powered watch, with a life time warranty.
The second is a wax seal, for letters and stuff.
(I know, I should be revered)
Cooookie Crisp.


Here is an awesome photo of me. Looking gorgeous, as usual.

Me, in Brant's hat. And Jenn's scarf.
(:

I know, you are totes jealous. It is okay. 

Photos! And a small blurb update.

This is a view of smoke from a fire in southern Utah.

Brant in a vest. (:

We went to a fireworks display in West Bountiful (I believe that is where).

It lasted about 10 minutes.

Those 10 minutes were really good....

But I wish it was longer.

It was sort of a let down.

But all and all I still had a wonderful time.

This is Brant and I at the fireworks display.

His mom took this one, and the one above. She is really cool.

This is us after swimming. I love swimming and I have not done it in so long.
It was really nice.

This is from the Dia Frampton Concert. I had to wait for it to get posted onto
the website PartyUtah.com  
And it wasn't up when I blogged about the concert.
So here it is now.

Just for a mini update. Things are swelltastic. I am having a wonderful time. And I am really happy. Actually this morning I woke up at the god awful hour of three, and went and sat outside. And I realized how happy I am in my life. And I started crying... I was super overwhelmed by feelings of joy. It was odd. Anyways I do not have a whole lot to write about it. I have been spending all of my free time with Brant. I am happy to report I am getting Sam time today. We are going to go sunbathing.

But yeah, I am alive and well!      (:
Anyways, I haven't slept since 3 am. So I am going to hit the sack.
<3

Fun Day Tuesday June 26, 2012

Tuesday was the day we decided to celebrate Jenn's birthday. Which is June 29, 2012. So we all went out to Olive Garden and then to Dia Frampton concert. After which we hit up Coffee Break. 

I am pretty much just going to put up some photos that were taken from the night. And give you folks more of an update at a later date.    :)

This is all of us with Dia.
From left to right: Jenn, Sam, Dia, Myself, Brant.

These are our stamped hands.  

This is all of us at Coffee Break.
From left to right.
Sam, myself, Jenn, Brant.

For the record Brant is holding my hand, and does not have a small hand. :)

:) (revised)

 So. The smiley face is a very accurate depiction of my life right now.

There has not been a whole lot that has changed.
I still have awesome jobs,
Still chill with two of the coolest cats in Salt Lake.

The only thing really new is that I have a boyfriend.

His name is Brant, I met him at work. For the record, he is not a 70 year old resident, he is 20 years old and works there. We have been dating a few weeks. Since the 13th, and exclusive since the 19th. Of this month.... I pretty much really like this guy. He is smart, funny, charming, sweet, considerate, isn't afraid to knock me down a peg, builds me up, and we are really compatible.

Until I met him, I was not looking for a relationship. But I realized after our second date, I did not want to see anyone else.

That is really all there is to talk about.

Oh, except I am going to say my landlady saw me making out with him tonight, and she gave me a dirty judging look. And you know what pissed me off about that. I am not her effing daughter, I am an adult, and I can make my own choices, and I can make out with anyone I want to. It was in  his car, so it wasn't even like it was in her house. So, I am not too happy about that. My own mom doesn't even do that to me. And you know what, my parents know I am going to be sucking face with the boy I am in a relationship with. If they want to give me dirty looks, they will. It is not up to her to judge. I am fairly certain she thinks I am a slut. And you know what, I am so not a slut. I am a one man woman.


I am really pissed off about this. And I have this odd feeling like she is going to lecture me about it. 
And I really want to be like back the hell out of my private life, but I know that is not a good idea, so I will refrain. 


The end. 

My First Hike & Life

My First Hike
Yesterday I went hiking with Sam. It was a lot harder than I thought, but it was my first hike. I told him I was never doing it again. But then we made plans to go again next Thursday or Friday...I think the most up to date deal is that we are going to go about weekly, and in 3 or 4 months, I should be able to do that first hike again so much easier.

I got some decent photos. I think. I had to download an application on my phone.

I do not really like the crater like thing. But other than that this is beautiful.

Same as above, except I like this better, because it has less crater and more green.

This was my first panoramic photo. Getting more of the mountain range and some of the valley.

My second panoramic photo, which was more of the valley. 

I am really happy that I went. Even though I was a terrible hiking companion for Sam, he was a good one for me. And he is right, the more I do it, the better I will get at it.Which is good, because I want to be good at it. I love the scenery of this place.

Life
My life in general is really good. I worked at the Marian Center which is a psychiatric unit for geriatrics. It was a 12 hour shift. I am not going to lie, I freaking loved it. Loved. I am not super comfortable sharing online stories of what happened. But it was fun, there is something about psychotic elderly people that I absolutely love. I really hope I made a good first impression and that if something for full time or part time ever comes up that I can work there.

I went on that date Wednesday. It went really well. We made plans to go on another date Tuesday. Then via text something came up about how serious of a relationship I am looking for. And the truth is, I am 19, I want to play the field, break a few hearts, have my heart broken, get drunk and hook up with a stranger (notice I did not say have sex...I said hook up, two different things), I am not ready to be that serious about anyone. I mean with my friends I am in it for the long run, but it is totally different. He is maybe looking for more. He told me that I should think about what it is I want from a relationship and get back to him. I really do not want to lead anyone on. I am just not ready for that part of my life. And if I date someone and fall head over heals and that changes, then I am cool with that. But it is not what I am actively seeking out.

Also despite the fact that I relate very well to him he has some things stacked up against him. He has not awesome teeth. He smokes. He gets jealous easily. I would never cheat on anyone, ever. But of the 6 people I consider to be my best friends 4 are guys, 2 are girls. It would be 4 and 3 but Elissa is pretty much family at this point. And I am a touchy-feely friend. Like I hug my friends a lot, or lean against them when sitting. And with jealousy can come controlling. I am not willing to let someone take control when it comes to my personal life.

So, I guess, I really need to find someone who is in the same position in life that I am. I have a feeling that going for it with him will be something I regret in four months. And even though I miss the intimacy of relationships, I would rather just keep waiting then expose myself to someone who could become controlling, which is considered abusive. Thank you BMHS for those skits about all the types of abusive relationships. The Girl in the Yellow Dress (I believe that was the title) is what is saving my life.